I loved a recent episode of The Closer because it gave a great example of a strategy we can use with someone who is stuck in an emotion or on an idea. In the episode, Brenda Lee’s father, Clay, is dealing with thyroid cancer which is causing him to have emotional outbursts. Toward the end of the episode, he is apologizing for a recent outburst and admonishes the family to let him know when he gets out of line again, even if it means hitting him. Just as he finishes his apology, he goes off about their dinner plans and begins ranting. But his son-in-law, Fritz, has taken Clay at his word. Fritz grabs a little pillow and pops Clay over the head with it. Clay is so startled that he stops mid rant. Fritz hits him again, just for good measure. Everyone is startled and breathless to see Clay’s reaction. Clay remains so startled that he goes along with the dinner plans, even pausing to cautiously thank Fritz as they leave.
When a child or someone is stuck in a tantrum or a strong emotional reaction, doing something startling or out of the ordinary can create a pause just long enough for a shift to take place. This could be something as harmless as bopping the person on the head with a pillow like Fritz did or it might be suddenly pointing out a window and shouting, “Look at that!” or “What is that?!?” The brain is going to follow the startle, and if it can be done in a playful way, it can have a very positive effect.
Keep this little strategy in mind. It might come in real handy one of these days.