It’s February already. Have you taken a moment to list what you’ve already accomplished this year?

Don’t panic. Yes, you have accomplished things already. Really. Sit down and think about today and yesterday. List what you’ve done with your time.

Too often, I hear from my ADHD clients that they aren’t happy with what they list. Well, that’s a different thing, isn’t it? You still did things with your time, and you deserve to acknowledge how you spent your time. Denying those things or discrediting them certainly doesn’t make you feel any better.

If you don’t like the things you list, then perhaps beginning tomorrow with a question will help:

Look in the mirror in the morning and ask that person, “What can I do today so that when I see you this evening, I can confirm that this has been a productive, well-lived day?”

Try that for a day then see how you feel about the accomplishments you list.

Oh, and if you haven’t captured the many things you did in 2011, make time to capture those things, too, before they get away and are completely lost. We ADDers spend way too much time on what we haven’t done and what we don’t like that we overlook the great stuff that we did as well, and that’s a shame.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve set some good intentions for this year so that it will be different in some positive ways. We’re pretty good at setting intentions and being very well-meaning about reaching them. But if you’re impacted by ADHD, like I am, holding onto those intentions so that you can follow through can feel pretty near impossible. So, should we just give up in defeat or never set any intentions? Hardly.

According to ADHD researcher, Dr. Russell Barkley, our brains are under developed when it comes to our working memory. We need our working memory to hold our intention in mind, figure out how to reach it, then be able to take action toward the goal. Just this alone takes a lot of energy and effort on our part, and we need to be able to do this on an on-going basis with a long-term goal. This is where two more factors come into play: Our brains find it difficult to:

• Persist over time toward a future goal
• Resist or manage distractions along the way

You see, when we get interrupted or distracted, our working memory is totally disrupted. We lose our intention and how to work toward it. Usually, our minds focus on something new in the moment and have no way of really getting back to the original intention. It’s pretty hard to persist when you can’t even remember what you were working on.

But this grim scenario doesn’t have to stop us! What I also know about us ADDers is that we are driven and willing to do whatever it takes when we really value something. This is key. First, when we set an intention, we need to get really clear about it – why we want to reach it, what its value is for us, and what it will mean for us to reach it. For example, I intend to get a book completed this year. I’ve written a great deal through my life, and I want to be able to see a published book with my name on it. But, more importantly, I want to get information I’ve learned through my life out for others who can benefit from it.

Now, I’ve been intending to get my own book completed for some time. I have at least 3 books partially written, and I’ve written over 1,200 pages of training materials and a 175-page workbook previously. The work I have completed always had some key elements attached:

• There was a very specific purpose for the writing
• There was a pressing deadline
• Someone was literally waiting for my writing to be completed
• I understood who it was for and I was passionate about the topic

So, how did these elements help me reach my earlier writing goals? I had a clear picture of the end product which I could keep in front of myself, in case I got distracted or lost focus. I had short-term milestones that kept me engaged and moving forward. Persons waiting for my writing kept asking me about it and encouraging me, and I didn’t want to let them down. I felt motivated to complete the work for those who would benefit from it, and I knew it needed to be done now. Also, each time I finished a portion of the work, I received appreciation and acknowledgement for it, as well as feedback on the quality and value. And one last thing helped me a lot – I took on the projects as challenges, so there was an element of excitement in the challenge aspect.

What this boils down to is something we can each use when we set ourselves a new intention:

1. Get really clear and excited about the goal and what it means to you and for others, and immediately create an external, visual reminder for your goal
2. Identify friend(s) or colleagues who can be excited with you about reaching your goal and/or create a situation where those who will benefit from your goal are waiting on you to reach it
3. If necessary, get help to break your goal into weekly chunks so that you know what your specific weekly deliverables are (this might involve external structures to help you follow through)
4. Be creative in setting up daily and weekly incentives, rewards, and feedback to support your momentum

This is a way to work with your ADHD brain and support yourself to persist through distractions to reach your goals. It takes more thought and structure than others may need, but who cares as long as you know that you can reach your goals?

I’m using the four steps above to support myself to complete my book project. What intention for 2012 are you going to use this process to reach? Let’s get going! We have an entire world to improve, and we’re just the ones to do it.

You can create your own at www.wordle.net. It’s a fun distraction, if you need one.

I loved a recent episode of The Closer because it gave a great example of a strategy we can use with someone who is stuck in an emotion or on an idea. In the episode, Brenda Lee’s father, Clay, is dealing with thyroid cancer which is causing him to have emotional outbursts. Toward the end of the episode, he is apologizing for a recent outburst and admonishes the family to let him know when he gets out of line again, even if it means hitting him. Just as he finishes his apology, he goes off about their dinner plans and begins ranting. But his son-in-law, Fritz, has taken Clay at his word. Fritz grabs a little pillow and pops Clay over the head with it. Clay is so startled that he stops mid rant. Fritz hits him again, just for good measure. Everyone is startled and breathless to see Clay’s reaction. Clay remains so startled that he goes along with the dinner plans, even pausing to cautiously thank Fritz as they leave.

When a child or someone is stuck in a tantrum or a strong emotional reaction, doing something startling or out of the ordinary can create a pause just long enough for a shift to take place. This could be something as harmless as bopping the person on the head with a pillow like Fritz did or it might be suddenly pointing out a window and shouting, “Look at that!” or “What is that?!?” The brain is going to follow the startle, and if it can be done in a playful way, it can have a very positive effect.

Keep this little strategy in mind. It might come in real handy one of these days.

I run into quite a few ADDers who live so much in their heads that they aren’t truly in touch with their feelings. As a matter of fact, I can be one of those persons, too. When we don’t know what emotion we’re feeling, we aren’t able to include emotional information in our decision-making. This can lead to decisions we regret or that aren’t right for us.

If you recognize yourself in this description, here are a couple of strategies you might try:

• Pause a few times a day and check in with your body. Is there tension, tightness, or something uncomfortable somewhere in your body? If so, describe what you notice in your body. Don’t try to interpret it; just describe what you are physically feeling (“My shoulder is tight” or “There’s a knot in my stomach.”). As you notice what your body is experiencing, without thinking, say to yourself, “I am feeling ___________.” Be curious about the feeling and what might have caused it. Over time, your body can help you learn what you are feeling.
• Pause once a day and complete this sentence: “If something today could have triggered a strong feeling (or you can insert a specific feeling, like anger) in me, it would be _____________.”

We can learn to tune in and recognize our emotions, and once we do, we have more choice about our actions and decisions.

It’s well-known in the ADHD field that sleep issues are a major co-existing condition that causes our ADHD symptoms to be worse. I’m regularly asking my clients about their sleep and exploring ways to help them get more and better rest. There is a pretty standard set of guidelines for supporting good sleep:

• Exercise vigorously during the day
• Avoid caffeine products after noon
• Create rituals that help you quiet down and transition toward sleep
• Go to bed at a regular time each night
• Keep the bedroom dark and cool
• Quiet or white noise helps (reduce stimulation)
• Have a good mattress
• If necessary, use natural sleep aids like melatonin, valerian, or Calms Forté

These guidelines are all well and good, but when you have ADHD, some of them feel pretty much impossible. We often are going so fast that we don’t notice or we ignore our natural sleep window signal telling us that we’re tired, so we keep working. This makes getting to bed at a regular time pretty difficult. Worse, our minds can be going to the point that even if we get into bed, we can’t relax or wind down. We forget to help our minds transition toward restfulness.

For me, sometimes my mind just won’t shut off, or I can get to sleep but can’t stay asleep. I may get up 3 or 4 times during the night, and I consider that a good night! I’m a very restless sleeper, and one of my cats takes advantage of that to ask me to play during the night. I figure at least one of us should be having fun at 3am.

Many ADDers need prescription sleep aids to get any rest at all. But even with a prescribed aid, you need to take it early enough that it won’t impact you the next day. There can be many factors causing our sleep challenges, and we must explore specifically what’s causing issues for you before we can develop a supportive strategy.

Clinical sleep researcher Matthew Edlund has concluded that the issue is larger than just sleep; he believes that many of us are “rest deprived”. He suggests that we explore how to get solid rest in four distinct dimensions:

• Physical rest which includes sleep and naps but also relaxing the body in other ways
• Mental rest which includes positive visualization, mental relaxation exercises, and even self-hypnosis
• Social rest which includes relaxing with friends and family, enjoying connectedness
• Spiritual rest which includes daily contemplation, prayer, and/or meditation

For ADDers, we may need to learn the value of rest before we’ll be open to incorporating it into our days.

Here’s a quick list of what science has found are the benefits of good sleep and rest:

• Gives our bodies time for cell regeneration and repair
• Strengthens our immune system
• Improves our mood
• Sets us up for optimal functioning of our bodies and minds
• Makes us less susceptible to accidents
• Sharpens our powers of attention and alertness
• Lowers our risk of high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, and obesity
• Supports memory consolidation
• Is critical for creative thinking

Thomas Edison and Leonardo da Vinci, as well as many other geniuses, practiced regular napping to support their creative processes. A nap of 20 to 30 minutes heightens alertness, enhances performance, and boosts creative problem-solving skills. Researcher Sara Mednick has found that “Learning after a nap is equal to learning after a full night of sleep.” As a matter of fact, she’s written an interesting book titled Take a Nap! Change Your Life.

I have long thought that, for some ADDers, we would be far better served to develop a work pattern where we work in spurts then nap or rest then awake naturally refreshed and go into another round of work. But this would only work for those who have identified their passionate purpose and are drawn to their work as play. I always hope that we can find each client’s passionate work-which-feels-like-play-for-them, and once we do, then identifying their natural work cycle is a very worthwhile endeavor.

An ADD coach colleague of mine, Jeff Cooper, has created a really nice radio show for those impacted by ADHD. It’s free and quite useful!

Jeff invites researchers, doctors, and other professionals working in the ADHD world to come on his program and talk.  The sessions are recorded so you can access previous ones from the web site He interviewed me last year about Distraction Diet for his program.

Check out Jeff’s station at AttentionTalkRadio.com.

At 12:35 this afternoon, in my lap at home, and with the assistance of a very kind vet, Merlin left this world very peacefully. His body was so weak that the medicine worked astonishingly quickly.  It was peaceful and easy for him, and he remained on my lap a while just as we had been most of the morning.

Merlin and I enjoyed these last couple of days very much.  We spent most of the time together, enjoying life and consoling one another.  His body was definitely ready, and I feel so good that I was able to do this for him.

His life was such a gift, and I’ll miss my dear fur guy terribly.  I am grateful for your love and support at this time.  I knew you would want to know, and I’ve appreciated your thoughts and prayers.

Sad, though celebrating his life,

Barbara

If you’re reading this, then either you or someone you know has ADD/ADHD.

I’m a life coach who specializes in working with people who are blessed with this very unique brain type.

I show my clients how their diagnosis is actually a gift that when harnessed correctly can help them achieve their goals.

Go ahead and click around and read more! I welcome the opportunity to speak with you about how ADD/ADHD Tuned Coaching CAN HELP YOU SOAR!

Reach out and make contact. Let’s see how high we can soar!